


Am I happy?

by Howardson



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, ghostbur is confused, phil is also confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28425951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howardson/pseuds/Howardson
Summary: Alive Wilbur was happy, right? His memories proved that. So that meant Ghostbur was happy.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	Am I happy?

“Phil, was I a happy person? When I was Alivebur?” 

Phil paused from where he was organizing his chests. He glanced at Ghostbur who was standing next to the fireplace.

“Why do you ask?” 

It was Ghostbur’s time to falter. The ghost broke eye contact and sat on top of the villagers makeshift roof that poked out of the floor. 

Ghostbur had told Phil that he figured out what he remembered. Happy memories! Things that made him warm inside. 

Underneath everything though, was a darkness that wouldn’t shake. It lingered and cling to his corporeal form like a black sludge. The ghost never understood why he felt this way. Why at times he felt like a rambunctious boy full of joy and then Hallow the next. 

All he remembered were happy memories. So why was he always sad?

Ghostbur figured it out in the process of building up L’Manburg. 

As a Ghost, Ghostbur doesn’t feel exhaustion at a normal rate. With his new found energy he would find himself spending countless days building and decorating L’Manburg. It was only fair he would get messy. 

So messy that Ghostbur decided to roll up his sleeves to get down and dirty with terraforming a near by hill.

Seeing his arms is when it all clicked into place. 

Scars. And lots of them. 

Some where big, Ghostbur recognized them as sword wounds or where an arrow was removed. What brought his concern was the smaller ones.

Thin pale lines. They darted across his skin in patches. It was obvious which ones where done at the same time. They went from his wrists all the way up his forearms. Not only his left arm but his right as well. 

Ghostbur couldn’t comprehend why his last self seemed so determined to tear himself apart. It didn’t make sense! He was happy, he remembered being happy. 

Ghostbur remembered spending time with his family. Building a nation with his friends. How proud he felt! 

But then came a revelation. Ghostburs memories where so spotty. Alivebur would be talking to his men, leave the room, and the memory would end. Or even talking with people he cared for it would abruptly end and kick up sometime later. His memories where so specific. There were no memories of down time. Nothing of when he got older, by himself. 

Ghostbur felt as cold as the cobble he sat on. He listened to the crackle of the fire. Phil was still looking at him. Expecting a response. The ghost fiddled with his sleeves.

“I don’t think I was very happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you enjoyed! Wrote this in the notes app in my phone in like twenty minutes :)


End file.
